The 5 Love
Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
About Author
Gary Demonte Chapman (born January 10, 1938) is an American
author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love
Languages series regarding human relationships. He is the senior associate
pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He is a
graduate of the Moody Bible Institute and holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) and
Master of Arts (M.A.) degree in anthropology from Wheaton College and from Wake
Forest University. He also received Master of Religious Education (M.R.E.) and
Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degrees in adult education from Southwestern
Baptist Theological Seminary.[3]
Summary of Book
There was a man who was very wealthy but he was not happy with
his life once asked he answered what's the use of these luxurious things when
my family and my wife doesn't love me.
Human’s most Dominating feelings are Love and Fear and I
Personally Feel that love is much powerful then Fear. Love can make weak person
so powerful, that a person can make path between the mountain and on the other
side it can make a Healthy powerful person so weak, that he could not take his
own meal with his own hands. We can’t say about the other feelings but yes
every human needs love. Even if you have everything in your life, still if
there is nobody to love you, Then you will feel that the life is waste and of
no use. Whether we say it or not, but we all want to get lot of love from our
loved ones, Love from our parents from kids , life partner and also the love
from friends. Author Gary Chapman, who is an Expert of relationships, family
and marriages, Says every human contains a love tank, which needs love from
their loved ones. Till they get that love and support from their loved ones they
feel mentally and physically stable, they feel happy, But if they do not get
that love and support which they expect, then that love tank start getting
empty. They feel unstable mentally and emotionally. They do not feel good and
happy and start getting frustrated and when finally that love tank gets empty, Then
the bigger problem starts in a relationship, Like fights, sadness and other bad
things happens, which slowly ends love and destroy the relationships. Emotional
love tank needs to be filled so that we can feel happy and wonderful in our
life, but sadly, most of the people don’t get the love what they expect. This
doesn't mean that their loved ones do not love them, but the actual reason is, that
most of the people love language is different, which we fail to understand.
Example: We all have a primary language which we also call as a mother tongue, It
is comfortable for us to understand and speak, there are chances of knowing
other languages as well, like English, Chinese, Spanish etc. But, still will be
more familiar and comfortable in speaking and understand our mother tongue. Similarly,
we all have Different love primary language, which we understand the most and
this primary language then fill the love tank properly.
Love has (five) Languages, If you want happy and nice
relationship with your family and with your soul mate, then you must know these
Five languages of love. You should know what is the love language of your loved
ones, which make them feel special and happy. After understanding, you should
express your love as per their primary language, which can fill their love tank
properly. so lets begin..
Love language No.1 Words
of Affirmation:
A husband and wife used to fight a lot, Husband tried his
best to make her feel happy by doing everything. Working hard giving proper
money to her, helping her with house work, for this his wife also respects him but
still she never used to feel that he loves her. This thing frustrates the
husband, But here, it wasn't wife’s mistake. Even after doing so much for her, he
never feels the need of saying to her, that how much he loves her. Why he loves
her? Never Compliments her, he feels all these things are filmy, it looks good
on screen not in real life. Actual love is to fulfil the needs of the family, which
he do with all his commitment. Now, this thing is as stupid as trying to
explain a Malayalam person in hindi, and getting frustrated ,why he doesn't
understand ,even after speaking in hindi so fluently. Similarly, for his wife
the words were the actual and the most important reason for feeling that love
and care. His wife primary love language was word of affirmation but he was
expressing his love in different primary language. Word of affirmation is
saying something to your partner which makes them feel good. Example; saying I
LOVE YOU, Why to love them? Always telling them the reason why you love them by
saying or writing or by anything. To say something which encourage them, to
compliment them, to appreciate them for every small and bug things they do and
many more. Those who have word of affirmation as their primary love language will
feel good when you say good things to them only then they can feel your real
love and care but if you do not say a simple special words to them, their love
tank will not be filled, and they won’t feel your love.
Love language No. 2 Quality
Time: Those who have Quality time as
their Love Language.
If you compliment them, say how much you love them, why you
love them, they will feel good, but will not feel your true love, Instead they
will feel your love when you spend some quality time with them. Here Quality
time doesn't mean to spend entire day at home by watching TV, or listening
their conversation while watching TV, engaged in mobile. These are not a
quality time, here quality time means giving undivided attention to them, to be
present with them at the moment and talk to them, do things which make them
feel good and happy. Maybe doing painting or cooking together or sitting at
beach having conversation. When you spend a quality time with them then only
they will feel that love and will be happy.
Love Language No. 3
Receiving Gifts:
Who does not like to gets gifts and whose primary language
is this, sometimes they expect a gift from you. Gifts are very special because
it makes your loved ones feel good and special and make them realize that you think
about them and while taking that gift you were remembering them. Whenever they
see your gift, it will remind them about you which is the most wonderful
feeling for them. Now, if you are thinking how i can give a gift daily, my financial
condition is not so good, I have so many other problems. So, no one has told
you to give expensive gifts, to make someone feel your true love is very
simple, Just by giving chocolates or a rose or a simple card or anything, which
can make your loved ones and family members entire day happy and wonderful, Now
if you are financially stable then you should give expensive gifts too but do
remember, your feelings will not be measured by your gift price but your
intention behind your gift will be the reason which will make the person happy.
I have seen many time, that some small and less expensive gifts, has become the
most special and closed gift for them, they keep it safe and always handle it
with care, most of the time there is no need of a materialistic gift, your time
and efforts can be a gift for them. So make a habit and give pleasant gifts to
your loved ones especially whose love language is this, it will make your
relationship much stronger and better.
Love language No.4
Act of service:
The story which I told you in the first primary language about
the husband and wife, the way husband try to show his love towards his wife, is
the act of service language, when someone's primary language is this, they will
not feel not be happy, Just because you bring gifts for them, and compliment
them, instead they will feel your true love when you help them for some work. Always
carry their responsibilities properly, if required to share responsibilities with
each other work like for example: cooking food, cleaning the house, earning
money to fulfil the house needs, to fulfil the children needs any more.
Love Language No. 5
Physical Touch:
Now a days our thinking is so corrupted, I know, as i have
said the word physical touch most of the people have thought something bad, so
let me clear, to have sex is not the only way of physical touch, Instead it is
a very pure language to show your love. Example; when a mother kiss or hug her
child to show her love, it's also a physical touch, or when we feel sad or
something happens with us at that time we hug our friends or closed ones, because
at that time we need that love and suppor. Physical touch is a very strong way
of showing your love or feeling the love, whose primary language is this, they
want you to hug them cuddle them. There is no need to be sexual, just spending
some time together while watching TV, hold their hands while walking, these
things can make them feel your love, some of the kids, whose primary love
language is this, their parents must think times before hitting them, because
it is also a physical touch, but in a negative way, which can disturb them
mentally. Do remember, if you do something negative in their love language,
they will feel worst, Example: If someone's love language is word of
affirmation and you say something bad or negative or you do not appreciate they
will feel worst as compare to anyone.
So to conclude, try to find out the primary love language of
yours and your loved ones, and show them your love by their primary love
language, so their emotional love tank will always be filled, sometimes you can
use all five languages but maximum should be your loved ones primary language that
will be more impactful and can make your relationship stronger.
Comments
Post a Comment